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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 14, Episode 3

Fifth Gear - Series 14, Episode 3

A much better showing from the lads at Fifth Gear this week. The shootout saw Jason Plato pit der neue Passat R36 Estate against der neue Audi A4 3.0TDI Estate. TheR36 is Volkswagen’s most powerful and quickest production car to date, but it didn’t have it all its own way against the A4 oil burner. More VAG content when VBH compared a Golf GT TDI against a Kia PRO-cee’d diesel. She reckons the Kia is getting better. While I hate to admit it doesn’t actually look too bad, I’ll take her word for it otherwise. Jonny went to the Ultimate Street Car show, or Summer Nats for chavs. He claimed there was some art and talent there, and to be fair, he’s probably right. But there’s also a crap load of wasted money, including a Civic Type R that has had £90K (AU$193K) thrown at it. Tiff drove around with Jarno Trulli in a Prius. It’s okay, they fell asleep too. Tim Shaw simply has to lose the stupid jumpers and poxy jeans, although, that would leave him with precisely no personality. A point he proved again while trying to match manufacturer’s performance claims in a MINI Cooper S, Mazda MX-5 and an Ariel Atom. Tom drove around in a new Honda Accord Jap, oops, I mean Euro. Tiff closed out the show being a prat against Australia’s own Jason Crump on a speedway track. Predictable results and a whining Tiff followed. Passable.

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 14, Episode 2

Fifth Gear - Series 14, Episode 2 - Porsche 911 GT2

So the next episode of Fifth Gear has been and gone and if you can’t wait for it to air on Foxtel’s Lifestyle Channel, here’s a quick recap. Tiff brings back the shoot-out, starting with Mazda’s revised RX-8 up against Nissan’s 350Z. Whoa, that beeping rev limiter on the RX-8 is just daft. Just as well the Zed is quicker, then. Tim Shaw—epic fail. ‘Nuff said. Vicki spent a day with Lewis Hamilton to see if she could find someone who loves Lewis more than James Allan. Jonny flashed £3K around to see what would be the best used motor on offer. He started with an E34 BMW M5, then toyed a Ford SportKa before deciding to keep half his money and buy a first gen Mazda MX-5. Plato fangs about in a new Porsche 911 GT2. Very tidy. Tom is let out in a Benz SL63 AMG and reckons the old one was better. The show ends with a Fifth Gear crash test. They used a Peugeot 306 Cabrio …  it was ugly! The crash results, not the car.

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 14, Episode 1

Fifth Gear - Series 14, Episode 1 - Rinspeed Squba

Fifth Gear is back on UK screens and Episode 1 of Series 14 saw the debut of a new presenter, Tim Shaw. No, not the Demtel man, but someone possibly as, erm, loveable. We also saw Snooker legend and resident bad boy Ronnie O’Sullivan get some advice on how to blow his Crucible winnings. He took his pick from a Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG, a BMW M3 Convertible and a Mitsubishi Evo X. Speaking of the Evo, Jason and Tiff put the Mitsubishi Evo X and the new-ish Subaru Impreza WRX STi to the test to determine which was the best track day weapon. Jonny showed that scrap metal is not always worth more than the sum of its parts. Tom tried to see if the Ford Kuga was a stick in the mud, and, well, it was, even if he reckons it’s otherwise okay. Cast your mind back the the slick Roger Moore James Bond era and you’ll see exactly where Rinspeed’s inspiration for the sQuba came from (pictured above).

See you next week.

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 10

my what an ugly butt you haveThis was the last episode in Series 13 of Fifth Gear. The Anglesea shootout was between the early 1990s Ford Escort Cosworth and the early 2000s Ford Focus RS. Interestingly the older Cossie took the honours and was around 1.5 seconds quicker around the track than the RS. Amazingly, and somewhat surprisingly, as seen on last week’s show, my wife’s shopping trolley (Mk5 Golf GTI) is faster than both of these, haha.

It’s new, but it still didn’t keep me awake. Lucky, then, Tiff took the wheel of the new Impreza STi. Well, maybe not if you work for Subaru. He wasn’t exactly glowing in his praise of the car. Seems that, as well as hitting the new Rex with the ugly stick, Subie have hit it with the softly, softly stick as well. Shame.

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Fifth Gear MINI Renault

Renault Clio Cup v MINI Cooper S JCW



Renault Australia, get your arses into gear! Why do we not get the Clio down under? It was released when Napolean was telling Josephine ‘not tonight!’ There’s no excuses, surely!

Rant aside, this is a clip featuring the Renault Clio Cup and the MINI Cooper S with JCW tuning kit, as broadcast on the final episode of Fifth Gear’s series 13 (more on that to be posted later). Jason and Tiff abuse the cars around Cadwell Park and in a close affair the Clio Cup takes the beans from the mildly tuned Cooper S. While a more seriously tweaked factory built MINI John Cooper Works has been announced, which should give it the edge over the lightened Clio, it will get nowhere near the Clio Cup if ‘bang for buck’ is high on your purchasing criteria. C’mon Renault, bring it to Australia, you know it makes sense!

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 9

Oops, a bit late with this precis (Episode 10 aired last night)! Fifth Gear‘s Series 13, Episode 9 kicked off, as usual, with a shootout at the Anglesea track, and we saw the current hot-hatch du jour, the Mk5 Golf GTI take on the newly launched Subaru Impreza WRX. It seems the new Rex has been hit with a curse worse than the ugly stick. (See below for YouTube clip).

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 8

Fifth Gear 13x08Episode eight rolled off Fifth Gear‘s production line last night. Starting off at Anglesea, as usual, was another pointless comparison, as usual. This week saw a Porsche Cayenne GTS against a BMW X5 4.8 V8. And just in case you want to know which SUV is quickest around the track, which of course you do, then get the Porsche.

Quite why the producers didn’t set Vicki on the track with the new Honda S2000 GT and Nissan 350Z GT is anyone’s guess. Actually, it was probably a good call as it was as plain as day that we’d be told the S2000 would make the best accessory du jour for all high street hairdressers.

Chemmy Alcott can ski better than she can drive. And at least when she is skiing she’s not making an arse of herself.

Citroen have bottled it and tried to make a German C5, so expect that to sell as well as the outgoing French one, even if Tom reckons it’s a quantum leap forward.

Jonny and Tiff actually do a damn good job of making NASCAR seem interesting with their Daytona 500 report. If only the cars turned right from time to time.

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 7

Fifth Gear 13x07The seventh episode of Fifth Gear‘s thirteenth series aired in the UK recently. Crumbs, this latest installment really was scraping the bottom of the barrel. As usual, Vicki kicked off the episode by punting a couple of cars around Anglesea, this week’s thrashings were the Vauxhall Corsa SRi and Ford Fiesta ST. Is it ever bloody dry at that track?! And they really need to ditch that damn it’s new but is it any good segment, or at least, spunk it up a bit with some moderately interesting cars.

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 6

Fifth Gear 13x06Episode six of the current series of Fifth Gear featured the highly anticipated Nissan GT-R and Audi RS6 (see youtube clips below). In fact, Fifth Gear claimed theirs was the world’s first TV clip to review the GT-R. Jonny and Tom had a camp-off, erm, pun intended, with a pair of Volkswagen vans. The second hand star was the R33 Nissan Skyline GT-R. And Tom stacked a Renault Laguna into a big old tree. Vicki kicked off the episode by punting a Fiat 500 and MINI One around Anglesea.

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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 5

Fifth Gear 13x05Episode five of the current series of Fifth Gear featured the much anticipated comparo between the BMW 135i and the Porsche Cayman (see two part youtube clips below). A short interview with Moto-X legend and rallying hopeful Travis Patrana showed some of his amazing career highlights. The second hand star saw Johnny looking for the best deal under £2400, I’d take his Mk2 Golf GTI 8 valve I reckon. And there was a bunch of daft scooters as well.

Other cars featured in Episode 5 include:

  • Renault Twingo GT v Fiat Panda 100hp at Anglesea
  • Land Rover Freelander v Nissan X-Trail
  • BMW 135i v Porsche Cayman
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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 4

Fifth Gear 13x04The latest episode of Five’s Fifth Gear saw Jason Plato take us behind the doors of the Segrave Club—the latest way to access the world’s greatest supercars, including one of my favourites, the Porsche Carrera GT. Johnny takes the new BMW 635d to Poland in search of cheap diesel fuel. And the second hand star was the Mk5 Golf GTI. Blimey, only feels like it went on sale a year or so back.

Other cars featured in Episode 4 include:

  • Volkswagen Transporter 3.0 TDI Sportsline v Brabus Vito Sport-X at Anglesea
  • Aston Martin DBS (see youtube clip below)
  • Mercedes-Benz Unimog
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Fifth Gear

Fifth Gear – Series 13, Episode 3

Fifth Gear 13x03The latest episode of Five’s Fifth Gear aired in the UK yesterday. Johnny and Tom tackled the gruelling Exeter Challenge in a Volkswagen Beetle. A brief glimpse of the upcoming Ford Focus was given and a Fifth Gear special crash test featuring a London cab highlighted the dangers of children travelling unrestrained.

Other cars featured in Episode 3 include:

  • Vauxhall VXR8 v Lotus Carlton at Anglesea
  • Audi A3 Cabriolet
  • Maserati Grand Turismo