The seventh episode of Fifth Gear‘s thirteenth series aired in the UK recently. Crumbs, this latest installment really was scraping the bottom of the barrel. As usual, Vicki kicked off the episode by punting a couple of cars around Anglesea, this week’s thrashings were the Vauxhall Corsa SRi and Ford Fiesta ST. Is it ever bloody dry at that track?! And they really need to ditch that damn it’s new but is it any good segment, or at least, spunk it up a bit with some moderately interesting cars.
I’m a Volkswagen fan, but even I found the Polo Bluemotion piece a bit bland. And, apparently, manufacturer’s fuel consumption figures are a bit rubbery. Well, duh! Oh yeah, Tom’s missus needs less eyeliner. The first proper feature showcased a pair of fluffy deformed cauliflower ears attached to Phil Vickery behind the wheel of a Mitsubishi L200 pick up thingy. It was kind of fun, I guess. Jonny’s second hand star was the Nissan Figaro. Oh dear, well, at least Jonny had the skills to make this almost work. Vicky took the wheel of an electric Smart Car and tried to make it interesting. Zzzzzzzz. At this point I cut my toenails. And, no, I’m not joking. Oh sweet Jesus, did we really need to see all that hair on Tom. In a hot tub! That was the introduction to his Volvo XC70 review. Yep, things haven’t really improved. Although, at least he displayed the benefits of ESP. Pay attention cowboys! Tiff closed out the show with the new Lexus IS-F. The usual sideways rubber burning activities ensued and we’re left with an M3 competitor that does everything except have the cachet of actually being a proper M3. Let’s hope next week’s ep raises the bar…